Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Santa

It is hard for me to write about my dad because I feel I cannot properly express in words how I feel about him or his passing. Two days ago marked the five year anniversary of his death. Every year at this time when the Christmas music is playing, the decorations are up, the lights are lit and everyone is in the "holiday spirit", it all brings out bitter-sweet emotions for me. My dad LOVED Christmas. He made this holiday most special for us even when money was tight. He wanted us to have memories of Christmas that he never had. I think his most favorite thing about Christmas though was dressing up as Santa. He had the rosy red cheeks, the big round belly, and as the years progressed his beard became as white as snow. He really made a great Santa. He enjoyed having kids (and adults) sit on his lap and tell him their Christmas wishes. He loved everything about this holiday season.

I have thought back to this time five years ago when he was so sick and could not even walk. Allison was only two months old. The holidays were approaching and all he wanted was to look like Santa so she could be on his lap if only for one time. It breaks my heart thinking about that moment. He knew this was going to be his last time as Santa and I am so thankful it got to be with his only grandchild at the time. It brings me to tears to know that all of his grandchildren will not have the opportunity to sit on his lap at Christmas time. He would have loved it more than the kids! I just have to realize that I was blessed to have the best "Santa" around for all the years I did. I need to keep his memory alive by making Christmas special for my kids, enjoying the holiday season like he did, and telling them stories of the greatest Santa around. Love you Santa.

8 comments:

Warner Family said...

Thanks for the cry. You are the best. Christmas must be wonderful in your house with a Dad like that to teach you. Thank you for sharing this.

Amy Danni said...

I Love you Uncle Charlie, and I do agree that you are the best Santa around! xoxo love you Jen!

Kristin said...

Like you said, a bittersweet time. Christmas will be special for your kids, and you've also got Zachy's birthday to celebrate during this time, so that makes it special too. Your kids will know how much Christmas meant to your dad thru you, and thats the best way to keep his memories alive. Love you guys!

Sara said...

Jen, that picture of Allie and your Dad is so sweet. I always think of you and your family at this time of year as well. I know that "Santa" is with your family always and especially during this time of year. Love ya!

Karen said...

I know what you mean. We miss him too.

Angela said...

Jen, I wished I could of know this special Santa. I thank you for sharing all you did it was touching. I am sure he looks down from heaven smiling at his darling daughter who loves so much the legacy he left. Hugs and love to you and your family.

Heather said...

Hi Jen! I loved this post about your dad. It made me sad though! I really loved him and he was just such a great guy and dad! I can't believe it's been 5 years! He sure was awesome. I'm just so grateful that families are forever! I'm grateful for memories too. You're so cute, Jen and I miss you guys! Can't wait to see you at Steve bo's wedding! I know your dad is just SO proud of all you guys. :)

Kellyry said...

Charlie was a great Santa and a great man. Thoughts are with you, Jen.