Santa

It is hard for me to write about my dad because I feel I cannot properly express in words how I feel about him or his passing. Two days ago marked the five year anniversary of his death. Every year at this time when the Christmas music is playing, the decorations are up, the lights are lit and everyone is in the "holiday spirit", it all brings out bitter-sweet emotions for me. My dad LOVED Christmas. He made this holiday most special for us even when money was tight. He wanted us to have memories of Christmas that he never had. I think his most favorite thing about Christmas though was dressing up as Santa. He had the rosy red cheeks, the big round belly, and as the years progressed his beard became as white as snow. He really made a great Santa. He enjoyed having kids (and adults) sit on his lap and tell him their Christmas wishes. He loved everything about this holiday season.

I have thought back to this time five years ago when he was so sick and could not even walk. Allison was only two months old. The holidays were approaching and all he wanted was to look like Santa so she could be on his lap if only for one time. It breaks my heart thinking about that moment. He knew this was going to be his last time as Santa and I am so thankful it got to be with his only grandchild at the time. It brings me to tears to know that all of his grandchildren will not have the opportunity to sit on his lap at Christmas time. He would have loved it more than the kids! I just have to realize that I was blessed to have the best "Santa" around for all the years I did. I need to keep his memory alive by making Christmas special for my kids, enjoying the holiday season like he did, and telling them stories of the greatest Santa around. Love you Santa.